Monday, May 5, 2014

Julie Walker

Hello. My name is Julie Walker. I’ve been coming to Crosspoint for over a year now after being invited by my son and daughter-in-law. After being at another church for over 20 years, it was a hard decision to make, but I believe it was the right one. I would like to share my testimony with you.

I was raised going to church up until my pre-teen years when my family gradually just dropped out of going. I think that it partly had to do with work schedules, and then it just got easier not to go. During my high school years I became a bit rebellious and sought peer acceptance above all other relationships. Looking back and knowing what I know now, I was not really abnormal in my overwhelming focus on acceptance and peers. It is a pretty normal adolescent condition. Be that as it may, I made some wrong choices. But as you will see, God turned them into the greatest joy imaginable.

I was married at a young age and was quickly blessed with two sons. Unfortunately the marriage lasted only about 8 years and being a single mom was difficult, but I had great family support. However, it was during the 2nd half of married life, during the time that I was raising my sons, that the testimony of how God has lead and brought me through so many changes becomes really relevant to others, I think.
When the boys were elementary age, I began homeschooling them. As I look back, I don’t believe it was the wrong decision for our situation, but there are many decisions and attitudes that I should have modified. Now that I understand things a little better, I think that I was still seeking that peer acceptance during these years. Except now the “peers” were followers of a system that was pretty legalistic and inflexible. Therefore, I became extremely legalistic and tried to force my children into a mold that didn’t fit either them or me! But I was convinced that this was the right way, and couldn’t even give place to the reason of my own heart. This made life pretty hard for all of us, I think, but especially for the boys.

Well, through many trials and difficulties, mostly of my own making, God brought us through. Once the kids were grown, they found their own ways to modify their walk with God into something that was more reasonable, and a fit for them. I don’t mean that they set the terms on their relationship with God, only that they were able to shed the legalism and harshness and come around to a personal (and not an enforced) relationship with the Lord. It took me a little longer. But eventually, my desire to continue a positive relationship with them softened me up a bit. Gradually, the Lord showed me that even though there were commandments that were absolute and not to be broken without consequences, other demands that I had been making on myself and my children were mere preferences and should not interfere with relationships. And you know what? Once I understood that, I found that I actually enjoyed relaxing a bit and that my relationship with God was greatly enhanced by the new sense of f
freedom that He always intended for us.

I have purposely left out the specifics of the legalistic ways that have been shed. That is because what is a point of conscience with some is a point of preference with others. Only God can lead in those areas. On the other hand, he gives us clear direction on how a Christian is to live. To thwart his direct commands is wrong and invites trouble (I have enough trouble without inviting more). I’m still learning the balance, but I am full of confidence that God will lead me into all truth in spite of myself. And that gives me unending hope!

God bless all of you ladies at CPC!