Monday, October 15, 2012

Week 17: Becki McAuley

Greg & Becki McAuley

When God Whispers…

 
Have you ever thought to yourself, “Was that God or just my own silly voice?” I truly believe that God speaks to us in so many ways, and one of those is with His still small voice which whispers to my heart.
 
In January 2011 I started reading a little book, Radical by David Platt. I was almost immediately captivated by what he was writing. He was challenging me in new ways about my relationship with Christ and how I was living that out on a daily basis. Also in January, I began to feel unsettled at my job. I chalked it up to simple restlessness and moved on. I have always loved working, and I especially loved my job at our church. I had prayed for this job back in 2001, and God had been so faithful to answer. My position had changed and expanded over the last 9 years. I was finally doing the things I had always seen myself capable of doing.

 Enter in God’s small voice…I began having this thought about staying at home and taking care of my family and house full time. WHAT?!?!? You see I’ve never, not one time in 18 years, had a thought about being a stay at home mom. I believed that I was a better mom because I worked. (I still believe that was true for those 18 years.) I completely put this thought out of my head thinking for sure either I was crazy or God was. When God is speaking to you, I’ve found, you can try to put the thought away, to file it in your crazy file or you can just listen. I did my best to put this thought away but God would not quit talking to me. My idea of staying at home was so outside my “norm” that I didn’t even want to talk to my husband, Greg, about it. I did the next best thing…called in my praying friends and asked for them to spend some time praying for clarity and discernment. Surely I was not hearing God correctly, and they would confirm that for me.
 
You really need a great group of friends that will pray for you when you need them. I’m so thankful and blessed for these ladies. And one by one they confirmed what God had been telling me for the better part of a month now…I was to resign my position and stay at home. Greg was a shocked as I was by this whisper from God. I asked him to pray about this decision and we could talk about it again after a while. I felt like we needed to each seek God’s direction separately. I believed that if He wanted this for our family, He would also speak this whisper to Greg.
 
To this day I still cannot believe the direction that God has led me in. Back then I believed God wanted me to be home and more available for my family. While I still believe that is true, I now see that He had other plans for our family that required me no longer working for our church.
 
On January 1, 2012, Greg and I felt like a change in churches was becoming necessary mainly for our children but maybe for us as well. We knew our teenager really needed a new student ministry to participate and worship with, and we believed this was the reason for visiting new churches. What we didn’t realize was how our passion for God and his people had waned over the last few years. We first visited Crosspoint Church on January 8, 2012 and became members soon after. Since joining CP we feel a new energy for serving, Bible study, life groups and for how we are living out our faith in our community. I see and feel it in each member. How amazing that God would bring us to a new place that honestly at the time we didn’t even know we needed.
 
About 6 weeks ago I was reflecting back on our year and all the changes that have happened for us (changing churches after 16 years, daughter’s engagement and upcoming wedding, father-in-law’s diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and the list goes on), then I heard God whispering again. No, it wasn’t another change or move for us but an acknowledgement and understanding for me. He showed me how my obedience back in early 2011 allowed for our family to be in the sweet space we find ourselves in today. God doesn’t always reveal His plans to us but oh how I love it when He does!

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