|Pastor David Villejoin and wife Jackie Villejoin|
I could see my Mom's mind deteriorating. Then others were seeing the same. But not my Dad. He was in denial.
The day after Christmas 2007 one of my parents neighbor called me to tell me that my Dad was in the hospital. My Mom couldn't be alone all the time anymore. So my brother and I took turns taking care of our mom while my Dad was in the hospital for 7 weeks. He was suffering from congestive heart failure. The doctors put in a pacemaker. The pacemaker was defective. It had to be removed. It was hospital then physical rehab. When my dad finally came home, he couldn't do anything for himself neither could my mom.
Families have an obligation to provide for their aged members. My brother and I had a decision to make. It was not an easy one. When our parents start to lose their physical and mental capacity's with age, one of the hardest things we may have to do is to take the role of the leader in these situations over our parents. 1 Timothy 5:8 says "Now if anyone does not provide for his own relatives, and especially for his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever". With prayer and God's guidance as children of aging parents, we have a responsibility for their well being at times. 1 Timothy 5:4 says "these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family". The decision was made to put them into a nursing home where they could get the care they both needed. There are decisions in life that are difficult. The first time I left the nursing home I cried. I felt like I was leaving my "kids" behind. It's been four and a half years. Lots of emotions have been shown over the years of living in a nursing home from my Dad. My mother hasn't spoken in 2 years. This is one of the signs of Alzheimer's.
When we obediently seek the will of God, we can be sure that He’ll hear us and give us the wisdom we need to make the right choices.
James 1:5 says
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you". And once we know His will, we have a responsibility to embrace His direction and obey Him completely.
I found great peace and confidence in knowing that the choices my brother and I made were based on God’s guidance. Perhaps no one else will understand or agree with our decision—but we have heard from the One who matters the most.
It's so hard to watch my parents age. These are the people who taught me my moral foundation and was obedient in raising me. Yanking your parents freedom is hard, but necessary for the safety of everyone.