Thursday, June 28, 2012

Week 2: Danette Hufstetler

Danette Hufstetler
I make lists...lots and lots of lists. There is something about being able to check something off of a list that brings me some sort of perceived joy. If I accomplish something that wasn't on the list then I write it on the list so I can check it off...yes, I'm one of "those" people. Curiously enough, all the checking off in the world doesn't actually bring real joy. I think making lists makes me feel like I have some sense of control over what's going on in my life. That feeling however is fleeting.

My perceived "control" brought me to a place in my life where I was, and still am at times, out of control. God has been showing me a lot of things over the last few weeks and I have become acutely and sometimes painfully aware that I really don't have control over things I so desperately try to control. I've also learned that my perspective has been wrong and that it is a good thing that I don't have control. Isaiah 55:8 says " 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord."

That's the truth! My ways bring me stress, anxiety, depression, lack of fulfillment and a feeling of being very far from God. My ways cause me physical, as well as emotional and spiritual issues that I cannot get my brain and heart around. It is an awful feeling! I am learning though to hand over my control or my out of controlness (not sure that's an actual word) to God. Sometimes the handing over is well thought out and is done with intention. At other times it looks more like a walleyed fit, as my grandmother used to say. But...I am learning.

All of these control issues cause fear for me and I have come up with a list (see the pattern?) of "fear not" scriptures that being me peace. I even went as far as to type them out, print them out, laminate them and I keep them in my wallet for quick reference at any given moment. I depend on them...on God's Word. I've also learned that if I read them out loud that they strengthen my spirit even more. If you want to make your own little emergency kit, the scriptures I used are Dueteronomy 20:3-4, dueteronomy 31:8, 2 Chronicles20:17, Isaiah 35:3-4, Isaiah 41:10-13, 1 Chronicles 28:20 and Dueteronomy 31:6. For this season in my life, they are my lifeline. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." So, I will continue on this journey of handing over the control of my life to God for His safe keeping and so that His plans for my life can become my new reality.

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